The Ugly Side of Beauty; Can Being Attractive Ruin Your Personality?

5 min readApr 9, 2021

Beauty is defined as the collection of qualities, such as shape, form, and color, that appeal to the aesthetic senses of others. Everyone loves beautiful things, and it is no surprise that the first impression we get of a person is how they look. Although everyone is beautiful in their own way and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, we all know that there are those the society generally agrees are beautiful.

Beauty is one quality that contributes to the ‘halo effect.’ It is the cognitive biased perception that just because someone looks great on the outside, they also possess other positive characteristics such as health, kindness, fun, and intelligence. This stereotype gives way to the pretty privilege.

What is the pretty privilege?

It is how people who are more pleasing to the eye get to enjoy better treatment and opportunities in life than their relatively less attractive counterparts. There have been a lot of discussions lately about this phenomenon and whether it exists or not. And let’s be honest, the pretty privilege does exist no matter how much we might wish otherwise.

Since the dawn of time, beautiful people have enjoyed privileges, such as; marrying royalty; having their bills paid for them; getting hired for jobs they probably have no qualifications for; getting away with things that are usually frowned upon; getting famous on social media platforms; getting paid higher salaries; and access to particular spaces, among others.

Unfortunately, with all these privileges bestowed upon you, it can be easy for all the attention and devotion to go to your head and make you an ugly person on the inside.

How your beauty can ruin your personality

We have all heard of the proverb “ don’t judge a book by its cover,” yet this is what happens when people meet any person whose features are pleasing to their eyes. Despite the assumption that what is beautiful is good, first impressions are often deceitful. You can’t know what a person is really like by their appearance alone. You have to spend time with them and get to know them.

A study by the University of British Columbia discovered that people pay closer attention to attractive individuals and accurately discern their personality traits in a short period of meeting them.

Can your beauty ruin your personality? Let’s see. Getting all the attention can influence the development of some unattractive traits such as pride, conceitedness, lack of empathy, selfishness, and rudeness.

Have you ever wondered why so many beautiful people have few friends? You might think this is perhaps because they are intimidating or that the plain ones are envious of them. In most cases, this isn’t the reason. A majority of physically attractive people are self-centered and selfish and only think about their own interests. Any relationship requires work from both sides, and no one wants to be associated with a selfish person.

Society places beautiful people on a pedestal from a very young age. To maintain this status, they feel the pressure to look, dress and behave a particular way. As you try to conform to society’s dynamic beauty standards, you are bound to lose yourself and your individuality. You obsess about your looks creating undue stress and anxiety in yourself. In worse cases, you could develop Body Dysmorphic Disorder — a condition characterized by an obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in your physical appearance. This changes the way you interact with others and how you want them to perceive you, thereby living an unauthentic life in the pursuit of perfection.

Khloe Kardashian going on an Instagram Live recently to show how her body isn’t photoshopped by stripping down to almost nothing after an ‘unflattering’ bikini photo of her went viral is evidence of how far a beautiful person will go to maintain their image.

Being beautiful has its perks. You get to enjoy free things and kindness from ordinary people even if they don’t know you personally. Who doesn’t like free things? Unfortunately, this can affect your personality in the long run. You might decide to take advantage of the kindness shown to you to obtain favors. Women, especially, do this by using their feminine wiles and looks to get money or free things and services by crying or pretending to be stupid. How long before you actually become stupid? Or people get tired of being used?

You can get so used to getting whatever you want that you become spoilt and come to expect it from everyone. This sense of entitlement makes you believe you are better hence should be treated better than everyone else. There have been studies linking attractiveness to narcissism. A physically attractive person has a higher probability of succumbing to narcissistic personality disorder than an average-looking one. Your looks give you confidence and a higher ego that at certain levels could trip over to narcissism.

An ugly personality destroys a beautiful face.” Research shows that pretty people are the meanest and rudest. They are more likely to interrupt while others are talking or even give rude comments without caring what it makes the other feel.

Having a beautiful face doesn’t necessarily translate into intelligence. Although this assumption is wrong for some, it generally applies to most attractive individuals. Their looks could be the only thing they have going for them, and trying to have a meaningful conversation with them could unveil a shallowness and lack of character. But who cares as long as they are beautiful? They could be as dumb as they want and still have people fawning over them. But;

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

How to be a truly beautiful person

What is the real beauty of a person? Is it only the looks? No. True beauty comes from within. It comes from the soul and springs from the heart. Your physical appearance isn’t everything. Become a truly beautiful person by doing this;

  • Learn humility and strive to serve instead of expecting to be given everything.
  • Understand that good things take time and effort. With patience and perseverance, you will find a way to solve your problems.
  • Learn to put others first and love them without any reservations. We all need each other to survive in life.
  • True beauty is made, not born. External beauty fades with time. Be as beautiful inside as you are outside by learning and embracing qualities such as kindness, courage, and selflessness.
  • Don’t rely only on your looks for confidence and favors. Get it from your experience, talent, as well as your authenticity and integrity.
  • Accept every part of yourself, even the imperfections, instead of obsessing over your looks and what others think. Your body, your choice. Trying to fit into the mold set by society is a losing game.

Can your beauty ruin your personality? Definitely! Instead of striving for outward appearances only, pursue true beauty which lies within. External beauty is only skin deep, while an ugly personality goes all the way to the bone. You will eventually grow old, and your outward beauty will fade, but if you embrace being truly beautiful, it will be timeless.

Originally published at on April 9, 2021.